Opening Doors

Everyday, I always overlook the question, "what do i really want to do?"

often times I find myself in situations where I feel I don't what to be in. and sometimes, I just to be anywhere, even if I don't know why I am there, as long as I have people whom I want to be with there...

sometimes, I wonder...
why am I in ECE? (even if I am in my 5th year already)
and why am I in the robotics lab! (for crying out loud!)
and why do I find myself in a DSP project to make a mp3 file reader! (huwat!)

then after the ruckus in the AECES EB...
why did I opt to be the AECES president?
i mean, someone could have been go at this... why me?!
what does a president do anyway?

and if that's not enough, I'm still in Gabay...
tutoring the top 10 students of proj. 3 elem school on LOGIC!
(are the things I'm doing in life logical? hahaha)
and I'm suppose to lead a group of freshies in a cell group (spiritual stuff)
I even have a new soul, Carol
(but hey, I like having a soul in Gabay... I just hope I can take care of her)

then INTACT!
I love my freshies! though I need to know them all...
(at least memorize 30 names and associate them with the right faces)
and I must prepare for it every week (not to mention not being late! 7:30am!!! damn!)
If Sir Chris will see this, sorry for being a delinquent faci during training

so, what else is there...
I'am suppose to have a regular gym session with Adrin and Mac (akalain mo!)
which I like to do...
I'm suppose to be practicing basketball with the ECE guys regularly (for IAC)
(either M, W or F 430pm) that I am missing due to "meetings"
you know for a quite some time now, I've been over using the word "meeting"
I should be reading the Bible every night! (akalain mo rin!)
for 3 weeks or more, I have not followed my program... bad bad...


so, what now?

most of the activities here are things that I do like
but some, I don't know if I really like doing or maybe worth all the energy and effort in doing... I mean, I should do it still... well, you know

thinking about it, I want to do what I like to do.
some of the things I am doing are things that I don't want to do, but I have to do it.

with this, I want to open new doors
but I only have two hands and those hands are full...
I need to put some of it down to open a new door.

problem? I CAN'T PUT ANYTHING DOWN!

at some degree, I'm spreading myself to much...
(to Mr. Shih, a teacher and friend, I'm doing it again! omiged!)

oh well,
I have to live with it now.
I know I can still handle it
I just need to organize things...
organize my time, myself, my lifestyle...

with that
I have to leave other doors close for the moment

so much about ranting haha!
anyway, currently, Ateneo is winning... (labo! I'm watching UAAP on TV)